Big Hairy Audacious Goals
View more presentations from Ysobel Hamidjojo
Goals
View more PowerPoint from guest782a99
Goals Setting
View more presentations from Self Creation
Setting Personal and Family Goals
View more PowerPoint from Tyler Squire
Setting Goals For Yourself, And Motivating Yourself
View more PowerPoint from kktv
Effective Goal-setting
Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." His words contain truth, but are not the full picture. After all, if we don't believe we can accomplish some particular thing in life, then certainly we won't even bother to go after it.
Our beliefs about ourselves set the foundation for what we will be able to achieve in life. But, before we can set goals, we may need to look at and challenge the beliefs we have about our abilities. Often we sell ourselves short. Sometimes it is enough to say to ourselves, "I'm not sure I can accomplish this, but I want to give it a try." Interestingly, once we commit to achieving goals, we tend to find ways to complete them. If our goals are not realistic for our talents, or our budget, we find that we can discover alternate attainable solutions.Flexibility is essential in goal setting.
Our goals are to be guidelines to give us direction in achievement; they are not chains to weigh us down. There is an old saying, "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there." Or, to say it another way, "If you don't know where you are going, all roads will be the wrong roads." If you know where you are going, you may take short detours, and even backtrack momentarily, but at the next junction, you get back on track again toward your goal.
Meanwhile, life changes over time for all of us, both in circumstances and in personal growth. Common sense tells us that our goals change as we do.
Much has been written about goal-setting. Not only are there books and tapes about achieving goals, but also, the Internet is loaded with information about this subject. Here are ten basic principles about goal-setting that consistently keep reappearing:
10 Basic Principles about Goal-Setting:
1. Goals must be yourself. We can only set goals for ourselves, not for others. If Susan wants to loose 20 pounds, or wants to quit smoking, she can set that goal only for herself, not for anyone else.Also, those 20 pounds need to come off because she wants them to come off, not because her husband or anyone else wants her to loose weight.
2. Stretch, challenge, and modify thinking. Begin with a dream of what could be. Ask, "Why not?" Sandy wanted a house on the beach, but couldn't afford it. She expanded her thinking and discovered she could afford a condo near the ocean. She would have settled for something less had she not been open to think about alternate attainable solutions.
3. Base goals on personal values and beliefs. Amelia may be paying for her tuition by working in a topless bar,but that doesn't mean the same job might be acceptable to you, regardless of how much money you could earn. Weare much more successful in life when our goals match our personal values and beliefs.
4. Goals must be believable. If Sarah, age 34, wanted to finish her GED, and knew it was within her ability, inspite of having three young children at home, she would be able to find a way.
5. Goals must be realistic. If Linda can't carry a tune, it's not realistic for her to want to sing opera. Shemay be able to take voice lessons, improve her ability, and be able to sing in a choral group, but she does nothave the basics to sing solos, no less opera.
6. Goals must be clear and concise. Evelyn knew she wanted to take a class. But she was vague about where, when,or in what subject. She needed to clearly and concisely define her goal in order to meet it. Finally she decidedto take a basic computer class on Saturday mornings at the local ROP. Once she had crystalized her goal, she wasable to complete it.
7. Goals must be measurable and manageable. Peter decided to set a goal to "be healthier" this year.He valued exercise so decided that working out would be a good way to do meet his goal. However, he needed to breakdown his plan into measurable and manageable steps. He worked long hours every day, so figured out that he wouldbegin by working out one hour a day three times a week, after work. After a few modifications of his original plan,he was able to adjust his routing to include four days a week, and to work out for 1 ½ hours on Saturdaymornings.
8. Goals must have a target date of completion. Susan wants to loose 20 pounds. It's realistic for her presentsize. She has clearly defined what she wants. She can plan on using one to two pounds a week as her measure. Basedon her calculations, she then can set a target date for the beginning of summer. This date gives her room to looseslowly, and to have weeks when the scale might move in the wrong direction. Conversely, if she wanted to be readyfor the summer season, she could "count backwards" and from there determine that, from the first of Februaryto the first of June she had 16 weeks with which to work. She could then set her goal more rigorously at two poundsa week. This plan still allows her some weight fluctuation and meeting her goal in a timely way.
9. Goals need to be reviewed daily, weekly and monthly; and, re-analyzed, and re-set when appropriate. Sometimes our goals change because we have changed. Sometimesour circumstances create the need for change. Mark planned to open his own business in a computer connected field.His plan met all of the eight steps listed above. But two years later, his plans stopped. The fast-paced changesof the computer industry made his plan outdated. Meanwhile, Mark realized that he, himself, had changed, and withhis growth, his goals had shifted. He re-analyzed the situation, and from that, came up with new goals that betterreflected his dreams.
10. Write goals down often. When we write our goals down we are more likely to reach them than if we don't. Writingour goals allows time for us to reflect on what we want, to commit more fully to our goals, to remember what itis we want, and to challenge our thinking. Expect goals to change over time. Change is part of the process.
"Our goals are meant to guide us, not to chain and bind us." Elaine Kindle
Our beliefs about ourselves set the foundation for what we will be able to achieve in life. But, before we can set goals, we may need to look at and challenge the beliefs we have about our abilities. Often we sell ourselves short. Sometimes it is enough to say to ourselves, "I'm not sure I can accomplish this, but I want to give it a try." Interestingly, once we commit to achieving goals, we tend to find ways to complete them. If our goals are not realistic for our talents, or our budget, we find that we can discover alternate attainable solutions.Flexibility is essential in goal setting.
Our goals are to be guidelines to give us direction in achievement; they are not chains to weigh us down. There is an old saying, "If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there." Or, to say it another way, "If you don't know where you are going, all roads will be the wrong roads." If you know where you are going, you may take short detours, and even backtrack momentarily, but at the next junction, you get back on track again toward your goal.
Meanwhile, life changes over time for all of us, both in circumstances and in personal growth. Common sense tells us that our goals change as we do.
Much has been written about goal-setting. Not only are there books and tapes about achieving goals, but also, the Internet is loaded with information about this subject. Here are ten basic principles about goal-setting that consistently keep reappearing:
10 Basic Principles about Goal-Setting:
1. Goals must be yourself. We can only set goals for ourselves, not for others. If Susan wants to loose 20 pounds, or wants to quit smoking, she can set that goal only for herself, not for anyone else.Also, those 20 pounds need to come off because she wants them to come off, not because her husband or anyone else wants her to loose weight.
2. Stretch, challenge, and modify thinking. Begin with a dream of what could be. Ask, "Why not?" Sandy wanted a house on the beach, but couldn't afford it. She expanded her thinking and discovered she could afford a condo near the ocean. She would have settled for something less had she not been open to think about alternate attainable solutions.
3. Base goals on personal values and beliefs. Amelia may be paying for her tuition by working in a topless bar,but that doesn't mean the same job might be acceptable to you, regardless of how much money you could earn. Weare much more successful in life when our goals match our personal values and beliefs.
4. Goals must be believable. If Sarah, age 34, wanted to finish her GED, and knew it was within her ability, inspite of having three young children at home, she would be able to find a way.
5. Goals must be realistic. If Linda can't carry a tune, it's not realistic for her to want to sing opera. Shemay be able to take voice lessons, improve her ability, and be able to sing in a choral group, but she does nothave the basics to sing solos, no less opera.
6. Goals must be clear and concise. Evelyn knew she wanted to take a class. But she was vague about where, when,or in what subject. She needed to clearly and concisely define her goal in order to meet it. Finally she decidedto take a basic computer class on Saturday mornings at the local ROP. Once she had crystalized her goal, she wasable to complete it.
7. Goals must be measurable and manageable. Peter decided to set a goal to "be healthier" this year.He valued exercise so decided that working out would be a good way to do meet his goal. However, he needed to breakdown his plan into measurable and manageable steps. He worked long hours every day, so figured out that he wouldbegin by working out one hour a day three times a week, after work. After a few modifications of his original plan,he was able to adjust his routing to include four days a week, and to work out for 1 ½ hours on Saturdaymornings.
8. Goals must have a target date of completion. Susan wants to loose 20 pounds. It's realistic for her presentsize. She has clearly defined what she wants. She can plan on using one to two pounds a week as her measure. Basedon her calculations, she then can set a target date for the beginning of summer. This date gives her room to looseslowly, and to have weeks when the scale might move in the wrong direction. Conversely, if she wanted to be readyfor the summer season, she could "count backwards" and from there determine that, from the first of Februaryto the first of June she had 16 weeks with which to work. She could then set her goal more rigorously at two poundsa week. This plan still allows her some weight fluctuation and meeting her goal in a timely way.
9. Goals need to be reviewed daily, weekly and monthly; and, re-analyzed, and re-set when appropriate. Sometimes our goals change because we have changed. Sometimesour circumstances create the need for change. Mark planned to open his own business in a computer connected field.His plan met all of the eight steps listed above. But two years later, his plans stopped. The fast-paced changesof the computer industry made his plan outdated. Meanwhile, Mark realized that he, himself, had changed, and withhis growth, his goals had shifted. He re-analyzed the situation, and from that, came up with new goals that betterreflected his dreams.
10. Write goals down often. When we write our goals down we are more likely to reach them than if we don't. Writingour goals allows time for us to reflect on what we want, to commit more fully to our goals, to remember what itis we want, and to challenge our thinking. Expect goals to change over time. Change is part of the process.
"Our goals are meant to guide us, not to chain and bind us." Elaine Kindle
Basic Techniques to help cope with anxiety:
The following techniques prove useful for many situations related to anxiety, such as stress and anger. Since self-esteem affects and is affected by everything we do, these techniques also help to improve positive self-esteem.
Act "As If":
Acting "as if" we are not nervous may sound like some sort of strange technique. Yet, this technique has been well-grounded in psychological theory. Our bodies-minds-spirits are interconnected and have the ability to help (or hinder) each other. If we stand tall, walk confidently, speech with assurance, these body movements can help to alter the mind/spirit. Remember the 1950's movie "The King and I" about Anna and the King of Siam? In one scene, Anna is afraid when her ship arrives in Siam and in response, stands up tall, holds her head high, and begins to whistle the song, "Whenever I feel afraid I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune and no one ever knows I'm afraid..." In this scene, we get an idea of "acting-as-if" behavior.
Assertiveness training:
Many times we become anxious because we don't know how to respond to a difficult person. Our anxiety can also develop into anger. Learning even a few assertiveness techniques can help us stand up for ourselves more effectively, and more appropriately. Assertiveness training needs to include practice with tone of voice since the tone will carry the weight of the message, and either work for or against us.
Breathing:
Deep breathing helps the body to calm itself down. One simple exercise is to take three deep breaths in through the nose, hold each for a moment, and then exhale through the mouth. When we take in these deep breaths, we need to try to "stretch" the breathing. That is, when we think we have taken in all the air we can, we need to try to take in a little more. Chances are, we can. We do the same when exhaling. When we think we have exhaled all the air from our lungs, we need to try to exhale a little more. When we are anxious, we can exhale the air sharply, rather than slowly. This helps us to release tension.
Distractions:
When we are anxious, getting upset with ourselves over that fact only serves to exacerbate the anxiety. For example, if we have difficulty sleeping at night, we often find ourselves "stewing" over our inability to get to sleep. Using simple distractions can help to calm the anxiety. Turn on the TV and watch an old movie. Read a book. In reading a book, it helps to chose one that helps to make us sleepy. Other books that are helpful are motivational books that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that the future will be better.
Exercise:
Moderate exercise helps us calm our anxiety or relieve stress. All of us know that exercise helps the brain to release much needed serotonin which is the brain's natural opiate. However, over doing exercising can stress our bodies and damage body parts over time.
Walking remains one of the safest and most effective and inexpensive ways to exercise. We do not need special equipment or need to pay dues to a health club, or to buy certain clothes other than decent walking shoes. Dancing is another method we can use. Dancing around the house or yard releases tension. If we have access to a pool, swimming is a great way to relieve stress and anxiety because it exercises all the body muscle groups.
Meditation:
Meditation is an age-old method of helping people to find inner peace and harmony. Meditation may be associated with prayer, or simply focusing on an object or thought.
Music:
Remember the old saying, "music soothes the savage beast" or the phrase "mood music"? When we are stressed, anxious, even angry, music can help to calm the "beast" in us. Music written in 4/4 time with 16 beats to the measure is rhythmic, hypnotic, and can help us relax. Examples of such music is Baroque or Gregorian chant.
Nutrition:
What we eat affects us in our brains as well as our bodies. Too much fat makes us fat. There are some food groups that energize us such as fruits and vegetable, and other foods that help relax us such as complex carbohydrates. Processed sugar and alcohol may help us feel good for the moment but can interfere with our mood and increase tension, stress, anxiety, and anger. The "quick picker-uppers" tend to follow the principle: what goes up, comes down. Quickly.
Positive support systems:
People affect our lives either positively or negatively. This brings to mind the Fifth Commandment. Our spirits can be killed by being around negative persons. Sometimes we need to do "housecleaning" and eliminate those who drag us down. Many times this is not so easy to do because the persons involved are spouses, or bosses. When this is the case, it becomes more necessary than ever to seek out others who are positive-minded and who can help offset the emotional distress created by being around negative, un-supportive people. We need to understand that being around negative people, regardless of the reason, limits growth and well-being.
Relaxation:
All of us need to take time to relax. What is relaxation for one person may be nerve-wracking for another. Some people relax by taking a long bath; others relax by taking a hike. Relaxation is a personal choice. The point is, all of us need to take a few moments. Women, especially, have trouble with this principle. The old adage, "you can't sit down till the work is done" runs deeply in women's veins, regardless of age or culture. We must retrain ourselves into allowing ourselves to take time for ourselves. This often means we need to ask for help. Asking for help may involve assertiveness techniques, or maybe all we have to do is ask.
Self-esteem development:
Since self-esteem affects and is affected by everything we do, working to improve self-esteem is another way to improve ourselves. Many self-help books describe ways to increase self-esteem, and reading them in combination with taking some active means to improve self-esteem, such as attending workshops focusing on this topic, can help to raise self-esteem.
Self-hypnosis:
All our life events and messages are stored in our unconscious minds. Typically there is not a good communication between our conscious and unconscious minds. This may produce negative self talk and lack of harmony where we become like a charioteer with two unwieldy steeds, each going in their own direction. Hypnosis allows communication between the conscious and unconscious thus aligns our minds like an orchestra in tune so we can lessen our anxiety.
Self-talk:
Remember the old sing-song rhythm from childhood: "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me"? The message in the rhythm is incorrect. Calling ourselves names has a definite negative impact on us. We don't like it when someone calls our children names, and yet we think nothing of doing the same to ourselves. There is another quote that states a reality about thinking that says "the mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's vividly and repeatedly imagined." When we call ourselves names, the mind takes in those negative words as truth and reacts accordingly. We need not only to retrain ourselves from calling ourselves names, but also to refer to ourselves in positive ways.
Smile:
A professor once said that cursory research suggested a relationship between smiling diminishing anxiety. Smiling may be connected to "acting-as-if" behavior. We can speculate that when we smile, we might be "faking" our brain into getting the message that everything is okay. Since our thoughts-emotions-behaviors are interconnected, when we change one, we alter the others as well: a smile lifts emotions, and thoughts start to shift. Perhaps a smile actually triggers the brain's neuro nets in some way, or since a smile is a form of facial exercise, perhaps it helps needed brain chemicals to fire. Another speculation might be based on the fact that we cannot hold two different mood states at the exact same time. We might have different mood states close to one other, such as people report when they say they feel like they are on a roller coaster ride of emotions, but those emotions do not occur simultaneously.
Visualization:
The concept of visualization has been around for ages, and yet it sounds so easy, that many of us dismiss it as a viable technique. The basic idea of visualization simply is to picture ourselves as we want to be, and imagine that picture as vividly and completely as possible. Olympic athletes regularly use this technique to improve their performance.
Act "As If":
Acting "as if" we are not nervous may sound like some sort of strange technique. Yet, this technique has been well-grounded in psychological theory. Our bodies-minds-spirits are interconnected and have the ability to help (or hinder) each other. If we stand tall, walk confidently, speech with assurance, these body movements can help to alter the mind/spirit. Remember the 1950's movie "The King and I" about Anna and the King of Siam? In one scene, Anna is afraid when her ship arrives in Siam and in response, stands up tall, holds her head high, and begins to whistle the song, "Whenever I feel afraid I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune and no one ever knows I'm afraid..." In this scene, we get an idea of "acting-as-if" behavior.
Assertiveness training:
Many times we become anxious because we don't know how to respond to a difficult person. Our anxiety can also develop into anger. Learning even a few assertiveness techniques can help us stand up for ourselves more effectively, and more appropriately. Assertiveness training needs to include practice with tone of voice since the tone will carry the weight of the message, and either work for or against us.
Breathing:
Deep breathing helps the body to calm itself down. One simple exercise is to take three deep breaths in through the nose, hold each for a moment, and then exhale through the mouth. When we take in these deep breaths, we need to try to "stretch" the breathing. That is, when we think we have taken in all the air we can, we need to try to take in a little more. Chances are, we can. We do the same when exhaling. When we think we have exhaled all the air from our lungs, we need to try to exhale a little more. When we are anxious, we can exhale the air sharply, rather than slowly. This helps us to release tension.
Distractions:
When we are anxious, getting upset with ourselves over that fact only serves to exacerbate the anxiety. For example, if we have difficulty sleeping at night, we often find ourselves "stewing" over our inability to get to sleep. Using simple distractions can help to calm the anxiety. Turn on the TV and watch an old movie. Read a book. In reading a book, it helps to chose one that helps to make us sleepy. Other books that are helpful are motivational books that inspire and uplift us and give us hope that the future will be better.
Exercise:
Moderate exercise helps us calm our anxiety or relieve stress. All of us know that exercise helps the brain to release much needed serotonin which is the brain's natural opiate. However, over doing exercising can stress our bodies and damage body parts over time.
Walking remains one of the safest and most effective and inexpensive ways to exercise. We do not need special equipment or need to pay dues to a health club, or to buy certain clothes other than decent walking shoes. Dancing is another method we can use. Dancing around the house or yard releases tension. If we have access to a pool, swimming is a great way to relieve stress and anxiety because it exercises all the body muscle groups.
Meditation:
Meditation is an age-old method of helping people to find inner peace and harmony. Meditation may be associated with prayer, or simply focusing on an object or thought.
Music:
Remember the old saying, "music soothes the savage beast" or the phrase "mood music"? When we are stressed, anxious, even angry, music can help to calm the "beast" in us. Music written in 4/4 time with 16 beats to the measure is rhythmic, hypnotic, and can help us relax. Examples of such music is Baroque or Gregorian chant.
Nutrition:
What we eat affects us in our brains as well as our bodies. Too much fat makes us fat. There are some food groups that energize us such as fruits and vegetable, and other foods that help relax us such as complex carbohydrates. Processed sugar and alcohol may help us feel good for the moment but can interfere with our mood and increase tension, stress, anxiety, and anger. The "quick picker-uppers" tend to follow the principle: what goes up, comes down. Quickly.
Positive support systems:
People affect our lives either positively or negatively. This brings to mind the Fifth Commandment. Our spirits can be killed by being around negative persons. Sometimes we need to do "housecleaning" and eliminate those who drag us down. Many times this is not so easy to do because the persons involved are spouses, or bosses. When this is the case, it becomes more necessary than ever to seek out others who are positive-minded and who can help offset the emotional distress created by being around negative, un-supportive people. We need to understand that being around negative people, regardless of the reason, limits growth and well-being.
Relaxation:
All of us need to take time to relax. What is relaxation for one person may be nerve-wracking for another. Some people relax by taking a long bath; others relax by taking a hike. Relaxation is a personal choice. The point is, all of us need to take a few moments. Women, especially, have trouble with this principle. The old adage, "you can't sit down till the work is done" runs deeply in women's veins, regardless of age or culture. We must retrain ourselves into allowing ourselves to take time for ourselves. This often means we need to ask for help. Asking for help may involve assertiveness techniques, or maybe all we have to do is ask.
Self-esteem development:
Since self-esteem affects and is affected by everything we do, working to improve self-esteem is another way to improve ourselves. Many self-help books describe ways to increase self-esteem, and reading them in combination with taking some active means to improve self-esteem, such as attending workshops focusing on this topic, can help to raise self-esteem.
Self-hypnosis:
All our life events and messages are stored in our unconscious minds. Typically there is not a good communication between our conscious and unconscious minds. This may produce negative self talk and lack of harmony where we become like a charioteer with two unwieldy steeds, each going in their own direction. Hypnosis allows communication between the conscious and unconscious thus aligns our minds like an orchestra in tune so we can lessen our anxiety.
Self-talk:
Remember the old sing-song rhythm from childhood: "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me"? The message in the rhythm is incorrect. Calling ourselves names has a definite negative impact on us. We don't like it when someone calls our children names, and yet we think nothing of doing the same to ourselves. There is another quote that states a reality about thinking that says "the mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's vividly and repeatedly imagined." When we call ourselves names, the mind takes in those negative words as truth and reacts accordingly. We need not only to retrain ourselves from calling ourselves names, but also to refer to ourselves in positive ways.
Smile:
A professor once said that cursory research suggested a relationship between smiling diminishing anxiety. Smiling may be connected to "acting-as-if" behavior. We can speculate that when we smile, we might be "faking" our brain into getting the message that everything is okay. Since our thoughts-emotions-behaviors are interconnected, when we change one, we alter the others as well: a smile lifts emotions, and thoughts start to shift. Perhaps a smile actually triggers the brain's neuro nets in some way, or since a smile is a form of facial exercise, perhaps it helps needed brain chemicals to fire. Another speculation might be based on the fact that we cannot hold two different mood states at the exact same time. We might have different mood states close to one other, such as people report when they say they feel like they are on a roller coaster ride of emotions, but those emotions do not occur simultaneously.
Visualization:
The concept of visualization has been around for ages, and yet it sounds so easy, that many of us dismiss it as a viable technique. The basic idea of visualization simply is to picture ourselves as we want to be, and imagine that picture as vividly and completely as possible. Olympic athletes regularly use this technique to improve their performance.
